i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize