lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize