My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize