I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
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Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
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My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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