I faked an abortion last night.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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