I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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