Please, let me fuck your mom
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize