You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize