Tell her she can't have a vagina
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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