im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
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