so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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