Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
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So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
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He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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