You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
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my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
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How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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