It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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