Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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