I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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