how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize