I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I supernannyed him into submission
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize