hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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