We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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