Plan B is the new Plan A
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
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And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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