We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
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Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
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in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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