I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize