Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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