I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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