we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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