she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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