Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
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Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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