Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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