After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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