How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize