OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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