Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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