I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
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Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
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My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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