Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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