She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize