You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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