would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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