Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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