so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
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You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
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I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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