Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
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No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
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But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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