Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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