you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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