You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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