I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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