I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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