Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize