she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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