I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize