So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
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Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
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When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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